mere pixels

Though far away in the heat and humidity of Malaysia in October, I still feel the heat and humidity (and smell the feces) wafting across the Pacific from an election year coming to a close in the United States. It has been great to escape the stupidity of 24 hour news coverage, where every little word is dissected, bit by bit, for the slightest hint of material with which producers can exploit to create drama where none may exist.

Sadly, the drama that has unfolded recently is around my mom. Or at least someone who resembles my mom. Well, she doesn’t have the snappy glasses nor eat moose-burgers and I doubt she has as many dogs but Sarah Palin, and possibly the reason for having her around, is supposed to represent all of the moms and wives of the rural America where I come from. But, as my friend has said, “my mom is the sweetest woman in the world, but I wouldn’t want her to be President”. I agree.

Why did Palin make such a big hit at the RNC? Well, the Thrilla from Wasilla came thundering in unexpectedly, a nobody from a state people barely even know other than our wanting to drill it and from that McCandless kid dying there. I haven’t seen the speech. Supposedly it was “inspiring”. Then again, Hitler also inspired people. I’m all about outsiders shaking up the system but I like them to be at least a little bit qualified, not bumbling idiots chosen only for their ability to appeal to people that say “she’s just like me”. Personally, I want my political candidates, especially those that could very possibly end up as President of the United States, to be better than me.

Maybe it’s because the majority of Americans don’t aim high anymore. We’ve given up the dream for nostalgia and comfort. We’re not hungry for change or optimistic, forward-looking, or curious about the world around us anymore. Adam Greenfield accurately dissects the elements of the Palin identity and its initial appeal to up to 58% of the electorate (a figure now getting lower I hope):

The gloss of down-home authenticity – the mooseburgers, “snow machines,” and other rustic tat that figure so centrally in her instant legend. The young-Earther retreat from science and all its methods. The palpable resentment of coastal elites (even as this time around it doesn’t seem that term is shorthand, as it so often is, for “Jews”). The instinctual, immediate recourse, upon achieving even the most local and limited sort of power, to the heavy-handed suppression of free inquiry. The things that endear this onetime nowhere-burg mayor to Americans are, as clearly as can possibly be, indicators that a whole lot of people think tomorrow came too soon.

What you get when you swallow too much change too quickly isn’t a mass outbreak of twitching, hebephrenic breakdown, nor some neo-Amish wave of technological renunciation. You wanna know what it looks like? A hockey mom and former beauty queen with an upswept ‘do and a pregnant daughter in high school. Sarah Palin is future shock personified.

–Thoughts for an eleventh September: Alvin Toffler, Hirohito, Sarah Palin

Her nomination to this position has been a boon to satirists and comedians everywhere. Of course, there’s the infamous Tina Fey send-ups on SNL. The first struck a chord with folks and got some laughs. The second made the world a bit scarier when people realized that some of the dialogue was from the Palinator herself. There have been thoughts on a Vice Mom tv show. Currently, there’s a call out on craigslist Los Angeles for a Sarah Palin look-a-like for an adult film shoot in the Valley. Some intrepid internauts have even somehow found or dug up footage from Palin’s ‘84 Miss Alaska pageant (which was subsequently taken down by a continuing more censorious YouTube but put up permanently here).

We had this fun the first time around with Bush and skewering his gaffes (well, essentially his inability to speak and his lack of any foreign policy ability). It’s funny but sad. How the hell did these people get into this position? How was one given a “mandate” four years ago and another chosen by a supposedly astute lifetime politico to succeed him if he dies in office (which is quite likely).

But maybe this is the type of person wants in office. Someone who, when interviewed with softball questions by our very own perky Katie Couric, answers in a massive agglomeration of incomprehensibility. It reminded me of being back in high school and the kids who would prepare speeches or debating points ten minutes before class and, when on the podium, spouted whatever random factoids reached their head or notecards with nary an idea of how to string together a coherent sentence. But that’s ok, she’s “one of us”. I can hear the folks back home right now saying, “Why’re they makin’ fun of her? I couldn’t make a speech in school to save my life. I don’ give a damn ’bout Russia either, Sarah. Don’t let’m get to you”.

Though not a blog I follow often, Peking Duck had a great quote from HL Mencken the other day that summed up how our democracy has been turning out of late:

“[W]hen a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental – men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost…

[A]ll the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre – the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

–H. L. Mencken, in the Baltimore Sun, July 26, 1920.

I don’t understand why the “jus’ folks” crowd continues to think they benefit from electing these people. They’re the ones who suffer the most under them. Whether it’s an economy that is collapsing because unregulated greed or a war in which their sons and daughters are maimed or killed daily, they are the ones who suffer each time they elect someone based on their accent and formerly isolationist mindset (Bush ‘00) or defiant mediocrity at life as a ‘hockey mom’ (Palin ‘08). Seriously. How come Palin isn’t given as much shit by the right for her 17-year old daughter’s pregnancy as they give other people about morals and sex before marriage? I don’t think this was some immaculate conception and maybe if the Palinator had been a bit more about sex ed she wouldn’t have to worry about one of her youngin’s getting knocked up.

I think Lexington at The Economist had one of the most succinct articles for the travesty that is Palin’s nomination. McCain’s decision to include her is either a bold calculation by a nefarious party or in inexplicable misstep on McCain’s part and bad decision-making.

Inexperienced and Bush-level incurious. She has no record of interest in foreign policy, let alone expertise. She once told an Alaskan magazine: “I’ve been so focused on state government; I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.” She obtained an American passport only last summer to visit Alaskan troops in Germany and Kuwait. This not only blunts Mr McCain’s most powerful criticism of Mr Obama. It also raises serious questions about the way he makes decisions.

Please read both the Economist article as well as Teresa Nielsen Hayden’s post over at Making Light. Both folks are much smarter than me and but together more sensible arguments. You see? Unlike certain provincial governors, I’m willing to admit that I’m not too awfully intelligent and defer to those who are.

I’m not voting for Sarah Palin because she doesn’t represent me and my idea of America. Understand that I’m actually an American – a forward-looking, optimistic, sometimes naive person who believes that an educated republic should exist, not some Idiocracy run by rampant breeders who shuffle between five different community colleges. I believe in our history of American individuality and capability – that we should work at bettering ourselves through education, through experience, and through our passions. Other than God, babies, and designer eyewear, what passions does Palin have? Does this puppet have any real opinions or is she only another figure to be twisted, used, and abused by her party like so many before her? I can see her following in the heels of her power white trash predecessors (Britney Spears and co.) and having some sort of breakdown once the pressure gets to be too much.

These, and many other reasons, such as my suspicion that she will bring the Cylons to attack earth if something should happen to McCain.

I’m also not voting for her because she’s not running for President.